Guilt Free Parenting

Posted in Family
at 2021.02.06
With 0 Comments

I don’t know about you, but I do guilt very well. At times, it seems like I can feel guilty for almost anything. Also, as a parent I mess up routinely. I can be short with my temper and my words are not always pleasant. Also, there seems to be a new parenting article out daily that tells you how to parent and of course it feels like to me anyway that I always come up short. My hunch is I am not the only one that feels that way. So, how do I have the audacity to come up with an article entitled, “Guilt Free Parenting”? Actually, it wasn’t totally my idea. God placed the idea and burden on my heart to share it with you.

Let’s look at Psalm 139:16, “Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Thy book they were all written, the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.” Basically, before you were born God marked out your days and may I add also your children’s days. God has a plan for you and He has one for your children as well.

What does all of this have to do with guilt free parenting? I’m glad you asked. God is truly in control of your life and your children’s lives as well. We cannot always see His hand or plan, but He is there. That means on our worst parenting days God is still working His plan in our lives and in our children’s lives in spite of us. There have been so many times in the Bible where at first glance God’s plan did not make sense and then on later inspection it made perfect sense. So, when we are not doing a good job of being parents, God is still working in our lives and our children’s lives.

I want to quickly say this does not give us permission to say, “I don’t have to parent, God is in control.” I’m not saying that at all. What I am saying is quit beating yourself up when you feel you have not done a good job or had a less than stellar parenting moment. God does not expect us to be perfect parents or have perfect children. If He expected that or required that we would not need Jesus.

May I suggest when you have that guilty feeling or bad parenting moment run to God and readmit how much you need Him. Also, rest in Him and thank Him that He is still in control and His plan will happen. Sometimes I even say, “God these are your children too and I know you love them even more than I do, please help me. Give me strength to be the parent you would have me be.”

Guilt Free Parenting means relying on our Abba Father and trusting Him to guide us in parenting our children. It means we won’t be perfect, but we can rest assured that God is still working out His plan in all of our lives. To me Guilt Free Parenting means realizing how deeply I need God and His wisdom in every area of my life and how I need to run to Him daily for strength and encouragement.

Can I promise you that if you truly realize how God is in control of your life and your children’s life that you won’t feel guilty? I wish I could. I have to admit I still feel guilty from time to time. I’m learning and resting in my Abba Father who loves and cares for me and who has a perfect plan for my life and for my children as well. I’m so thankful I’m not parenting alone, but with someone who is the Perfect Parent. SoHealth Fitness Articles, are you willing to try Guilt Free Parenting for a change? I think you will like living without guilt.

Parenting Photo
By PublicCo from Pixabay

Step parenting is a fuzzy role. Most people aren’t real clear what’s expected of them. Today, let’s focus on some hazard areas so you can be sure to avoid them.

People rarely have a clue what a relationship with a step-child will be like. It’s not because we’re stupid. It’s just that there aren’t any guide books for step families. We just assume it’s ok to play by biological family rules. A lot of false beliefs happens as a result of this. Today, I’d like to look at some of the most common and present a more realistic view of what you’re likely to experience.

1. I get along fine with the children now, so our relationship will only improve once I’m married to their parent.

Once you are married to their parent, children will view their relationship with you VERY differently. Things are permanent now. Any hopes they may have been holding onto about mom and dad reconciling are dead, and you’re a part of that death. This quite obviously can cause serious resentment.

2. The kids are only over every other weekend. That shouldn’t cause much of a disruption to our home life.

Just because a child is over every other weekend, doesn’t mean they can’t wreak havoc on your home and life. I receive tons of questions from fledgling step-parents struggling with what to do to manage what they view as the “disruption” to their lives when the kids come to visit. It’s not that they don’t like the kids, it’s just that their usual schedule gets turned topsy turvy.

3. My partner loves me. so obviously their kids will too.

Nowhere does it say that just because a child’s parent loves you, that they have to. Many kids have the opinion that they already have 2 parents and they aren’t interested in having any more. Your goal in the beginning needs to be for a friendly, civil relationship – not one full of love. If you get love, great! But, don’t count on it.

4. I’m an adult… How tough can it be to win a kid over?

It can be VERY difficult to “win over” a step-child. The problem is your attitude. It’s really a manipulative one. Rather than “win” them over, the focus needs to be on being present in their lives and slowly trying to build a relationship with them.

5. I won’t have to be the “bad guy” with these kids. My spouse will take care of all the discipline.

While this SHOULD be the way things go, it rarely does. Most of the time single parents are so happy to have another adult in the house, they expect that person to step in and share the responsibility of discipline.

6. My new spouse will make sure the kids treat me with respect.

This is another one that SHOULD happenFind Article, but unfortunately a lot of parents are still wrestling with a sense of guilt over breaking up the family. The guilt continues as the parent feels that the children are being forced into a new and different family. Guilt can get in the way of biologicaly parents requiring their children to treat the new member of the family with respect.

Parenting Photo
By tung256 from Pixabay

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